The Speech Surgery: too many thank yous? Heidi Ellert McDermott, founder of Speechy explores this

Credit: Ivana CajinaI've written my bride speech but almost three quarters of it is 'thank yous'. Is that right?

The thank yous are obviously very important but you also need to be wary of turning your speech into one long tedious list. For guests, thank yous are really only interesting if 1) they're personally getting thanked or 2) the thank yous are entertaining, from-the-heart and feel more than a cut and paste job.

Do not waste your word count thanking some random cousin for travelling hundreds of miles to be with you. Thank them personally, yes, but they don't need an individual namecheck in the speech.

Of course, it's important that the thank yous are fair and tactful. Even if you're not a huge fan, it might still be worth mentioning your dad's new partner. And if you're thanking your friend for her help with the wedding invites, make sure you thank your aunt for her contributions to the day's décor.

Once you get into thanking people who aren't part of the 'top table', it can be hard to know when to stop. If it starts to feel overwhelming or monotonous, see if you can group your thank yous, for example, 'the uni girls' or 'the Campbell clan'.

Personally, I'd never want to skimp on the thank yous to the parents – yours and your parent's. However, if you're wanting to keep the thank yous minimal (and give more personal thanks in person earlier or later in the day), then you can group all parents together (sometimes this is actually the most diplomatic option if there's remarriages and step-partners involved too).

For example, your thank yous may be directed at the following groups of people...
· Parents (and their partners)
· Wider family (if necessary)
· Close friends who have helped with the wedding prep and survived the Stag & Hen dos
· Children (either your step or shared children)
· Everyone for coming Even in a brutal form, you need to summarise each group within a couple of sentences.

For example, 'Thank you to our parents – old and new - all of whom have added something wonderful to our lives. Thank you for contributing to the people we are today. And only you can decide if that's a compliment or not.'

For more inspiration:speechy.com/bride-speech-examples