Your West Midlands Wedding- April/May 2020 (Issue 67)

86 Jane Barbeary, Member of the Associations of Independent Celebrants, shares what’s new in this increasingly popular service celebrate ! LET’S Y ou’ve named the date, booked the venue, and decided what to call your twitter hashtag for the big day... but the important bit, the actual promises you make to the love of your life, are pretty much the same words used by every other couple getting hitched. There’s not a lot of wriggle room for clergy or registrars to really personalise a ceremony to reflect you, as a couple. The laws that govern marriage date back to 1836, and the language used in ceremonies remain in line with those traditions.  There’s something comforting about familiar wording and ceremony and, if that’s what you prefer, then that’s a great choice. But if the words don’t feel personal and relevant to you, there is an alternative. Modern celebrants write and deliver bespoke ceremonies that tell your story as a couple. We can’t legally marry you – yet – the Law Commission is currently looking into that – but what we can do is give you a truly unique and personal ceremony that you, and your family and friends, will remember and cherish for many years to come. We can also write and deliver civil partnership ceremonies, wedding vow renewals and baby naming ceremonies, to your specifications. It’s worth knowing that the Law Commission has decided that the marriage laws are not keeping pace with modern Britain, and need to change. They’re looking at making the system simpler, fairer and cheaper. As it stands you can only marry in a church, register office or approved venue. The commission says this can be restrictive and expensive, and it’s looking to remove some of the red tape to give couples more choice, whilst still maintaining the dignity of marriage. If the changes go ahead, you could get married on water, in a field or in your own back garden! They’re also considering changing the rules to allow humanists and independent celebrants to conduct legally binding ceremonies in England and Wales. That’s hopefully to come but right now, once you’ve done the legal bit which can be inexpensive at a register office midweek, you can go ahead with your ceremony your way! It’s also not a requirement to exchange rings when you complete the legal formalities, so that can also be done with your celebrant. Your ceremony can be as simple or as extravagant as you’d like it to be. If you’re stuck for inspiration, celebrants have lots of it. You can have guests giving readings, live music or favourite songs played. You might want to include children, pets or join the latest